Yes, he is an easy target.  But the truth is, he's a monster douche-bag and not just because of his obnoxiously conservative views on everything, ever.  This should be a solid list of his worst moments...that we know of. 

 

7.)  Failed Boycotts

Sometimes something makes Bill mad.  When that happens, he either yells loudly about that thing, or if it's possible, he calls for Americans to boycott.  That's what he did when Pepsi had Ludacris as their spokesman.  He claimed that Ludacris' lyrics were "Degrading to women" among other things (see #1 on our list for an hilarious twist of fate for Bill.)  Bill listed many reasons for why it was wrong for Pepsi to use Ludacris as their spokesman, but never explicitly said "Ok fine, I just don't like black people, and a rapper provides the perfect front for me to pretend I'm a moral crusader."

In 2003, Bill called for the boycott of all French goods due to President Jacques Chirac's less than favorable view of the invasion of Iraq.  Hilariously enough, French exports to the U.S. increased!  Or did they?  Bill was able to quote the respectable publication "The Paris Business Review" word for word, in their article that described how much revenue had been lost by his boycott.  How was he able to flawlessly quote the publication?  Because he made it up!  And every word he quoted were his own words, so you can see that it would be impossible for him to mis-quote it.  See?  If you run into a snag, all you need to do is fabricate an entire publication to support your dumb ideas.

 

6.)  Constant Claims About "Blue-Collar" Background

For whatever reason, Bill O'Reilly is determined to convince America that he grew up in a hard-working blue collar neighborhood.  He mentions it in all of his books and whenever a guest talks about hard working Americans.  It's always some obnoxious quote like "Don't you dare talk to me about hard work.  I grew up in a blue collar neighborhood my friend, blue collar.  Know what that means?  It means this guy ::points to self with both thumbs:: this guy in front of you knows what it means to work hard.  ::Turns to camera:: I represent you America.  ::Quickly hides $3,500 price tag on suit jacket::"

Here's the problem:  Billy claims he grew up in a blue-collar Levittown, New York.  Records, namely an interview with Bill's own mother dispute his claim, that he really grew up in well-off Westbury.  He also claimed that his father never made more than $35,000 a year, which, when adjusted for inflation is more than $90,000.  Bill; you grew up with money.  Why does it mean so much to you to be blue-collar raised?  You still make over $9,000,000 a year now, don't you think people will care more about what you make now?

 

5.)  Screaming At Son Of 9/11 Victim

Bill invites Jeremy Glick to his show.  Jeremy's father was a Port Authority worker who was killed on September 11th, 2001.  Instead of being angry and calling for blood, Glick claims that he chooses to look at the situation rationally and decides it would be bad for innocent Afghanistani citizens to die because extremists murdered his father.  Bill surprisingly disagrees, and chooses to argue with Jeremy, going as far as to say "Shut up" and has the producers cut his mic. 

 

4.)  Colbert Lambasting

Colbert goes on Bill O'Reilly's show and hilariously insults him the entire time.  Watch Bill's frustration grow as he begins to realize there's no way he can insult Colbert, regardless of how hard he tries.  It's strange that Bill, who touts himself as a highly intelligent "Think for himselfer" doesn't realize that comedians have been wise-assing other people for a long time.  In Colbert's case, for close to 20 years.  If O'Reilly thought he could fluster a seasoned professional like Stephen Colbert, he quickly learned he was wrong.

 

3.)  Fuck It!  We'll Do It Live!

This tirade gained popularity before becoming a bonafide phenomenon back in May of this year.  Apparently Bill has a little difficulty reading the teleprompter which is obviously the fault of the inanimate object.  Then Bill starts yelling at the producer because he has some trouble understanding what "play us out" means.  Again, this is completely everyone else's fault.  After he blows another take and claiming he "Can't do it" and to "Fuck it, we'll do it live."  He stands up, about to throw the whole thing to the wind.  Instead, he calms himself down and gives a nearly perfect take.  The camera pans out and you can see Bill angrily tearing off his microphone, probably talking about how gay marriage is ruining this country.  Although his ridiculously annoying whiner fest was hilarious, it's almost more hilarious that he was an anchor on Inside Edition, a show dedicated to the Godless sodomite celebrities he claims to hate so much.

 

2.) History: O'Reilly Style

Good thing there are people who refuse to listen to his bullshit with compliance.  Keith Olbermann noticed something odd in O'Reilly's interviews with General Wesley Clark, a decorated soldier with combat experience in Vietnam among other accolades in his resume.  The two debated the Abu Ghraib prison scandal in which American guards had taken degrading pictures of the inmates in embarassing positions.  Not surprisingly, O'Reilly dismissed the scandal by saying that Americans have always done things like that.  Why that makes it OK and why he didn't just admit that he could care less because the victims have a different skin color than his own is still in question.  O'Reilly proceeded to cite an example of American atrocities in World War II, claiming that in the Belgian city of Malmedy, American troops massacred unarmed and surrendering German SS troops.  He made the claim more than once.  In fact, it was the other way around.  American troops surrendered to German troops, and the Germans executed the unarmed Americans, and left their bodies in crude graves to freeze.  The evidence was found over a month later. 

 

1.)  Sexual Harassment Scandal

Yes, he preaches about morality and how America's is non-existent.  But regardless; he's a dude.  Which means as much as he might want to deny it, he gets horny like everyone else. That's where producer Andrea Mackris comes in.  O'Reilly engaged in some pretty messed up sexual dialogue with her.  At one point, he suggested he massage her with a "loofah" which he mistakenly referred to as a "falafel," which is a delicious Mediterrannean food.  Also, it would be hilarious if he actually massaged her with one.  According to Mackris, his sexual advances were unwanted, a claim that surprised zero people.

Another part of the dialogue had Billy admit that he used a vibrator.  But how?  However he used it, many different visuals have just been seared into the eyelids of thousands of people forever. 

The dispute was ended when Bill agreed to settle out of court.  Some sources report that he paid her $10 million, penance for asking if he could rub a shower item/food on her vagina.