It must be sad to be a talentless celebrity. At one point in your life, people over-look your shortcomings, and you get to bask in the limelight. The next, you're signing on for a season of "The Surreal Life" just to get a hot meal and a roof over your head.
8.) Danny Bonaduce
Not a whole lot of trainwrecks can compare to the Great Trainwreck that is Danny Bonaduce's life. He loves drugs, alcohol (a lot more than anyone) and fighting. This clip isn't from a specific TV show, but he is always appearing on celebrity boxing shows or hosting shows involving children. Who let him around children?
"He's squeezing my balls." Yep. Danny Bonaduce is a ball-squeezer.
7.) The View
The View is torture. You put four dumb people in a room and something is going to happen. Usually, it's hilarious. But in this case, the result is obnoxious and painful to watch. If they're not scolding Elisabeth Hasselbeck for her views, they're spewing uninformed political "factoids" or arguing about the fact that the world is flat. Seriously.
Yes, Sherri Shepherd is the dumb one here. And again, "dumb" does not even come close to describing a person who "Isn't sure if the world is flat." But the rest of the cast deserve to die for their unwillingness to laugh at Sherri Shepherd until she vomits from self-consciousness disease. The View stinks.
6.) Tony Danza
Who DOESN'T love Tony Danza? The only problem is, it's more of a "this guy is ridiculous!" type of love. His talk show was pretty horrible, and then things like THIS happened:
How symbolic! A car running off the track, tipping over, crashing and burning (not burning, really). It really exemplifies Danza's career. It's just one slap in the face after another. (GET IT?)
5.) Joan Rivers
Why not go 2 for 1 here and get a great video of both Joan Rivers AND Brigitte Nielson?! Joan Rivers decides to shit on the pathetic Brigitte Nielson. Making fun of a person like Brigitte Nielsen is simply unfair, like when you get a little kid to "smell his palm" and then make that little kid punch themselves in the face.
This video should be given the "Most Awkward Video Around" award if that's a thing that exists. Why is Joan Rivers still on TV?
4.) Kathy Lee Gifford
Is there anything NOT terrible about Kathy Lee Gifford? Her pancake makeup fails to disguise her wrinkly old neck, and her smiles fail to disguise her wrinkly old personality (what?).
This guy just rips into "them," but we all know he just means "Kathy Lee." The best part is her attempt at dishing it out in return when she says things like "I was lying about your eyebrows I think they're shabby" and "They've been around a long time because they don't talk to us like that." Shut up Kathy Lee, no one wants you on television anymore.
3.) Danielle Fishel
She was smokin' hot as Topanga. But now she's the host of The Dish, a wannabe E's popular show, The Soup. It's fucking terrible, as evidenced by this clip:
Making fun of The Hills is as easy as merely THINKING about shooting fish in a barrel, and Topanga does it so awkwardly, it makes you wonder what right she has to make fun of OTHER TV shows. How do you mess up lambasting The Hills?
2.) Carson Daly
Are you ready for some zingers?! Cause Carson Daly's got your zinger's right here! Man, check out this monologue! Warning: not for people who die from watching hilarious things!
Oh man, "Bush is dumb" jokes followed directly by "Clay Aiken is sexually ambiguous" jokes? Relevant AND original! This guy's team of crap writers awfulness are beaten only by Carson Daly's impossibly absent comic timing. Get him off the air, please.
1.) Corey Feldman
When it comes to washed up career sadness, no one holds a candle to Corey Feldman. On his show, it seems like he's doing well enough: nice house, hot wife, probably a pet of some kind. But the worst thing he has is the belief that his career will somehow come back to life. He's a musician. A terrible one. Look at this sadness.
No matter how much you hate a person, it's tough to watch them like this.