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Death by Masturbation - The Art of Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation

POSTED BY CSQUEEZE IN CAMPUS SQUEEZE | COLLEGE TRENDS | ENTERTAINMENT | GENERAL  | COMMENTS

30% of male teen suicides are not suicides at all. They are autoerotic asphyxiation (AEA). Suicide is the intentional act of self-destruction. Consciously and willingly taking one’s own life. AEA also known as “scarfing” is the act of obstructing the flow of oxygen to the brain while masturbating. The lack of oxygen creates euphoria, giddiness, and light-headedness which is thought to enhance the orgasmic experience. Sounds weird but not that illogical right? WRONG! Some professionals consider AEA to be the riskiest (besides raw-doggin' a prostitute in Zambia) of all sexual behaviors. And you thought banging that nasty chick on the 3rd floor sophomore year was risky!

 
Best-case scenario, practitioners of AEA end up with brain damage. Next possible scenario…death. Many AEA deaths are mislabeled as suicides. Often times family members find the deceased hanged and naked with porn magazines on the ground below them, boner in tact. Out of shame, they clean up and report it to authorities and neighbors as a suicide. This clearly skews official statistics. Roughly 250-1000 people die each year from AEA mishaps. These deaths could have been avoided with adherence to the buddy system. Anytime you’re going to engage in dangerous masturbation practices please remember to keep a good (non-judgemental) friend nearby to check in on you every few minutes.

 

While the first documented case (purportedly; see timeline below) of an AEA death is Frantisek Kotzwara, a composer and musician, in 1791 it is commonly agreed upon that AEA was practiced long before then. A few more recent famous deaths attributed to AEA are Michael Hutchence the lead singer of INXS, Vaughn Bodé artist and cartoonist widely known for his Cheech Wizard comics, and Kevin Gilbert a musician, songwriter, and producer who worked with Madonna, Sheryl Crow (his then girlfriend), Michael Jackson, and Keith Emerson.

 

 

 

Statistics indicate that most AEA practitioners are 13-20 year old males. That’s you. Oh wait…us. This is a ridiculously dangerous way to get off. There is absolutely no safe way to practice AEA. And there is no reason for jerking off to be life threatening. May we suggest internet porn instead?

 
 

Click To Check out our AEA Famous Deaths Timeline! Yayy!

 

 


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Comments

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February 25. 2008 12:03

Gertrude

I find it to be horribly irresposible for you to knowingly disseminate information about this horrific and dangerous act, especially after you point out that your readership is the most likely to try such a life-threatening stunt. By introducing this knowledge, you will most likely kill some poor young boy. You are an aweful person, and I hope that you are haunted by the image of that poor boy slowly dying as he sits in his computer chair vigorously masturbating in the nude with a belt around his neck.

Gertrude us

November 13. 2008 21:26

R

First of all, Be Safe. I lost my husband of 25 years ti this, and one must disregard that only teenager boys do this. Men off all ages have practiced it some like mine accidently died. Why would any Mother not want to know that there is a 30% chance your son may not have already been exposed and expiremented succsesfully? The next, the first does it rally matter if your loved one dies? Awarness is the first defense. I'd rather hold a conversation with my child (hard as it may be) and explain what you have read and not be to fast to critisize a posting at a college where possibly ONE person read this and said "No thanks, I'll pass, life is not worth a POSSIBLE thrill, too die for". GPP4RVR

R us