30% of male teen suicides are not suicides at all. They are autoerotic asphyxiation (AEA). Suicide is the intentional act of self-destruction. Consciously and willingly taking one’s own life. AEA also known as “scarfing” is the act of obstructing the flow of oxygen to the brain while masturbating. The lack of oxygen creates euphoria, giddiness, and light-headedness which is thought to enhance the orgasmic experience. Sounds weird but not that illogical right? WRONG! Some professionals consider AEA to be the riskiest (besides raw-doggin' a prostitute in Zambia) of all sexual behaviors. And you thought banging that nasty chick on the 3rd floor sophomore year was risky!
Best-case scenario, practitioners of AEA end up with brain damage. Next possible scenario…death. Many AEA deaths are mislabeled as suicides. Often times family members find the deceased hanged and naked with porn magazines on the ground below them, boner in tact. Out of shame, they clean up and report it to authorities and neighbors as a suicide. This clearly skews official statistics. Roughly 250-1000 people die each year from AEA mishaps. These deaths could have been avoided with adherence to the buddy system. Anytime you’re going to engage in dangerous masturbation practices please remember to keep a good (non-judgemental) friend nearby to check in on you every few minutes.
While the first documented case (purportedly; see timeline below) of an AEA death is Frantisek Kotzwara, a composer and musician, in 1791 it is commonly agreed upon that AEA was practiced long before then. A few more recent famous deaths attributed to AEA are Michael Hutchence the lead singer of INXS, Vaughn Bodé artist and cartoonist widely known for his Cheech Wizard comics, and Kevin Gilbert a musician, songwriter, and producer who worked with Madonna, Sheryl Crow (his then girlfriend), Michael Jackson, and Keith Emerson.
Statistics indicate that most AEA practitioners are 13-20 year old males. That’s you. Oh wait…us. This is a ridiculously dangerous way to get off. There is absolutely no safe way to practice AEA. And there is no reason for jerking off to be life threatening. May we suggest internet porn instead?
Click To Check out our AEA Famous Deaths Timeline! Yayy!