OCT
14

12 Filthy, Dirty Song Lyrics


Music loves to talk about sex.  That's fine with us.  Some songs hint at it, some songs are more direct, and some songs make you feel like you need to have a chat with a member of clergy.  Some songs are humorously dirty.  We skipped those.  We only wanted to use songs that are dirty and the artist is like "Hell yeah, this song is sweet."  Here are those lyrics:

 

12.)  AC/DC "Big Balls"

Literally huge.

Lyrics:

I've got big balls
They're such big balls
And they're dirty big balls

What?!:

OH YES, when you have a big penis, it's one thing.  But having gigantic balls is awesome/hilarious, and should be discussed often.

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11.)  Whigfield "When I Think Of You"

Aww, she looks so sweet!

Lyrics:

And now you got me singing, I need you inside me tonight

What?!:

Most guys have heard that "making a girl laugh" is the key to their heart.  But according to Whigfield, if you can make her sing, you can do anything.  "Hey!  You just made me sing a song.  Let's engage in intercourse."  Seems like a logical progression.

Download on iTunes 

 

10.)  Led Zeppelin "The Lemon Song"

They want you to squeeze them.

Lyrics:

Squeeze me baby, make the juice drip down my leg

What?!:

Handjob references are awesome.

Download on iTunes

 

9.)  Nine Inch Nails "Closer"

Animals, these guys.

Lyrics:

I wanna fuck you like an animal

What?!:

There is literally no metaphor here.  It's straightforward.  Nine Inch Nails either wants you to be an animal, or Nine Inch Nails wants to be an animal who knows how to fuck.

Download on iTunes

 

8.)  Nickleback "Figured You Out"

Oh Nickleback, leave girls alone.

Lyrics:

I like your pants around your feet
And I like the dirt that's on your knees
And I like the way you still say please
When you're looking up at me
You're like my favorite damn disease

What?!:

Yet another example of Nickleback's many ground-breaking lyrical triumphs.  "What rhymes with please?  Disease?  Disease DEFINITELY rhymes with please."  Dear Nickleback, NO one wants to do this to you. 

Download on iTunes

 

7.)  Red Hot Chili Peppers "Sir Psycho Sexy"

They're covering up their demon filled members.

Lyrics:

Deep inside the garden of Eden
Standing there with my hard on bleedin'
Theres a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen

What?!:

Oh no!  Not only does Anthony Kiedis discuss the fact that he is sexually aroused, but for some reason, his manhood is bleeding!  Gross!  Then we learn that the devil is inside of it, making the bleeding happen.  Penises have bled for much less than having the devil inside of them.  Also, demons have posessed his semen, which can't feel good, not matter how you look at it.

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6.)  Akinyele "Put It In Your Mouth"

So a velvety red jumpsuit will get you laid?

Lyrics:

You wanna go down why not
I be like Herbie and han you a cock
and tell you that my name is AK
get on your kness, make like the breeze begin to blow

What?!:

Did you catch the reference to Herbie Hancock?!  That's serious song-writing.  "Herbie Hancock has the word 'cock' in it, which is also slang for 'penis.'  I gotta put that in a song."  That was Akinyele's thought process when writing this song.  He really isn't dancing around his love for oral sex.  But who does?  Oh right, most people.

Download on iTunes

 

5.)  50 Cent "Candy Shop"

Get in the candy shop.  Now.

Lyrics:

I'll take you to the candy shop
I'll let you lick the lollipop
Go ahead girl, don't you stop
Keep goin' til you hit the spot

What?!:

What could Fitty be referring to?  Does he actually want to bring a girl to a candy store and give her a delicious lollipop?  Um, YES.  (He doesn't.)

Download on iTunes

 

4.)  Ludacris "What's Your Fantasy"

This is the greatest picture of Luda ever.

Lyrics:

I wanna li-li-li-lick you from your head to your toes

What?!:

Luda isn't messing around.  He wants to lick you, and not just a small portion of your body.  Your ENTIRE body.

Download on iTunes

 

3.)  Little Kim "How Many Licks"

Bring THIS classy broad home to mom.

Lyrics:

Called his girl up and told her we was bonin'
Puerto Rican papi, used to be a Deacon
But now he be suckin' me off on the weekend
And this big black dude I called King Kong
He had a big ass dick and a hurricane tongue

What?!:

Wow!  It actually made us UNCOMFORTABLE typing those lyrics out.  It looks so much dirtier when it's on paper and not being sung by some over-sexed rap star.  Also, she then rambles on about licking things and doing other sexually explicit things to guys in prison.  Definitely a song babysitter's should play to put the kids to sleep.

Download on iTunes

 

2.)  Khia "My Neck, My Back (Lick It)"

DYK:  It's impossible to read those lyrics, think about this picture, and not vomit at the same time?

Lyrics:

My neck, my back, lick my pussy and my crack.

What?!:

This song really explores the act of oral stimulation.  And not only does Khia enjoy that, but she is REQUIRING YOU TO DO IT.  Also, there are DIRTIER LYRICS in this song but we actually felt uncomfortable using them!  Again, wow! 

Download on iTunes

 

1.)  Riskay "Let Me Smell Yo..."

Wait, by "Riskay" does she mean "Risque" or...?

Lyrics: 

Why you comin' home at five in the mone' (mornin')
Can I smell yo dick?
Don't play me like a fool cause dat ain't cool
So what you need to do is let me smell yo dick

What?!:

How quickly that song changes gears!  At first she's just mad that he's coming home late, and then she's like "THIS IS THE LOGICAL NEXT STEP."  Also, there are a lot of good ways to find out if your man is cheating.  Smelling his "member" IS one of them, but there are probably around 4 or 5 that are much more effective, and don't involve SMELLING HIS MEMBER.  Also, what kind of girls is this dude sleeping with, where the scent they leave is so strong?  You really want to put your face near that?

Download on iTunes

 

Honorable Mention:  Torsofuck "Raped By Elephants"

You don't want to see any pictures

Lyrics:

Something happened when I snapped a picture
Three elephants surrounded me
One of them ripped off all my clothes
Second elephant came on me and started to spread my buttocks
With its huge trunk
I screamed in agony when I felt it started to shove up my ass
Third elephant forced me to take its giant cock in my mouth
I sucked like a whore while I was assfucked by elephant trunk
After all it wasnt too bad at all

What?!:

It honestly gets much, much worse.  What a horrible song.  But what do you expect from a band called "Torsofuck?"

Download on iTunes



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December 8. 2009 23:41

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