These are just too much fun. Why are there so many celebrity douchebags? It doesn't seem that ALL celebrities are douchebags, necessarily, just some of them. But the ones we've picked so far have been monstrously douchy. The Jonas Brothers, Shia Labeouf, Dane Cook, and Sharon Stone are all pretty big douchebags. That leads us to our next douchebag report card...starring David Caruso.
Everyone's favorite red-head:
David Caruso
Looking like some sort of bizarre teddy-bear. The kind that eats faces.
Why He Deserves A Douchebag Report Card:
Look at his acting! COME ON! It's never been good. How does he land these huge roles? What's the deal?
On His Acting:
This is just too awesome to not share.
This video should probably speak for itself. It's a gigantic mashup of examples that detail Caruso's penchant for one-linery, glasses wearing situations, and walking out of frame for no reason. IT'S CALLED ACTING, PEOPLE. Oh wait, it's not. Well, in a way it IS acting, it's just the weird kind. Here's the formual: We're at a crime scene. There is a dead body. The CSI investigates, and says; "This is David Wilkins, a 30-year-old baseball player." Horatio Caine (Caruso): Looks like this player...just swung at his last...(sunglasses on)...pitch."
Once you start watching, you can't stop watching. That's just how this type of acting works. It's so unbelievably weird that even Jim Carrey felt it needed to be mentioned. Remember when Jim Carrey was in Ace Ventura and The Mask and The Cableguy? Those are examples of poor acting also. So when Jim Carrey feels your acting is bad, it's definitely a problem.
Acting Grade:
F
On His Personality:
Guess my expression. Am I doing angry or regretful? WRONG. I WAS DOING BOTH.
There have been some reports that David Caruso is kind of a dick. There have been even more reports that David Caruso is a mega-huge dick. Supposedly, the guy re-writes all of his scenes and when he screws up his lines he blames all the other actors and show-making personnel. It's pretty lame. There has also been anonymous reports that Caruso isn't afraid to drop the F-bomb in front of a few child actors now and then. And-OH NO-he's been known to hack up an awesome snotty loogie from time to time. His most famous line? "I'm a grown man with red hair. What am I supposed to do?" Only it was delivered like this: "I'm...a grown man...what...WHAT...am I supposed to do?"
Personality Grade:
F
Overall:
Based on Caruso's abysmal acting and even worse personality, which involves corrupting children and spitting on things, we gotta label this guy a:
A
Douchebag. A super-douche.