KISS’s legendary status is incontestable. We’re not going to get into all our theories about why they’re wildly successful and still popular 30 years later. But we think they’re merchandising might offers some insight. Here are the 10 Kraziest Kiss items.

 

10. KISS Puzzle Cubes

 

 

 

We were a bit concerned when we noticed the “toys” section of the Official Kiss Online Store. What a relief to find these odd, but harmless rubics cubes with KISS images.

 

9. KISS Lycra Cycling Shorts

 

 

 

Hypoallergenic and antibacterial! Wear your KISS cycling shorts together with your KISS Team Cycling Jersey and KISS Arm Warmers for a cozy work out. All for a mere $200.

 

8. KISS KISSMAS Ornament

 

 

 

Aww, the warmth of the holidays as epitomized by KISS. This tasteful black orb ornament features all four faces of KISS bandmembers.

 

7. Gene Simmons Apron

 

 

 

‘Nuff said.

 

6. KISS Lip Balm

 

No, no; you heard that right. Apparently lip balm is the new “it” marketing tool. “Not only will you feel cool, you’ll also be protected.” They’re of course referring to the SPF 15.

 

5. KISS Light Switch Cover

 

 

 

Nothing against KISS home décor, but I’d rather spend $15 on the limited edition ornament.

A double light switch cover is also available.

 

4. KISS Wine

 

 

 

There are 3 different KISS Wine collections; this one is from the etched wine collection where “each bottle has been individually hand-etched and painted by our studio craftsmen, and each comes with an Official Certificate of Authenticity.” Which apparently means you can charge $90 for it.

 

3. Rock ‘N’ Rubbers

 

 

 

 

Get your freak on rock star style tonight with a KISS Kondom. In conjunction with Condomania, KISS designed three different condoms: Tongue Lubricated, Love Gun Protection, and Studded Paul. President and founder of Condomania Adam Glickman said, “Could anyone possibly be more qualified than Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons to create a rubber that truly rocks?”

 

2. KISS Personal Checks

 

 

 
Because nothing says “upstanding credit” like Gene Simmons’ tongue. You can use the same order form for your KISS return address labels.

 

1. KISS Kaskets

 

 

Originally released in 2001 with only 2,500 caskets made available. The caskets feature pictures of all four members as well as the band’s logo. Each coffin was priced at $5,000 for a signed casket or $4500 unsigned. Unfortunately they are no longer for sale on KISS’s official website; you’ll have to scour the internet.

 

Notable celebrity Dimebag Darrell of Pantera was buried in a KISS Kasket in 2004.