Oh Maury Povich.  Where do we begin?  Without him, normal Americans wouldn't have the opportunity to watch his show and say, "Well, at least I'm not as fucked up as these people."  So based on that, it's hard to condemn the man.  Here are some of our favorite Maury moments...sort of.

 

Phobias

Maury was definitely the kid who picked up dead birds and chased the girls around with it during recess.

9.)  Woman freaks out when crew brings a bird out in a cage. Maury straight up laughs at her at one point...very sensitive. This is followed by a woman who is petrified of mustard but loves ketchup. 

 

8.)  For being such a big dude, he moves awfully fast when peaches are present.  This guy looks like he has a general phobia of healthy foods.

 

7.)  Is hating the noise of cotton balls enough of a reason to react like this woman?

 

Baby Daddy Videos

6.)  This poor fellow truly loves his 'son' and never once doubted he was the father.  His eyes work fine, it's his brain that's messed up.

 

5.)  What happens when a woman sleeps around excessively and then bears a child? She goes on the Maury Povich show...9 times and has 11 men tested to see who the father is.

4.)  Talk about inappropriate reactions. This man is so thrilled that he is not the father, he breaks into dance.  Guess we can't blame him.

 

Miscellaneous Ridiculousness

3.)  200-pound husband loves his 400-pound, 6-foot tall wife so much he can't keep his hands off her on the show.

 

2.)  Gender Roulette: Man or woman?  Your guess is as good as ours.

 

1.)  Crazy 15-year-old girl loves to beat people up, stab them, gang banging and can't wait to get pregnant. Then she defiantly tells all the sluts and ho's in the audience that they can't say anything to her. "You don't know me!"