As we noted in our post about athletes who called their shots and delivered, it takes superior abilities to accomplish something amazing in professional sports. Basically, it's easier to fail. Here are some sports icons who attempted to call their shots only to find themselves kneeling in the rain, their face buried in their hands, photographers gleefully immortalizing their shame for all of eternity.
7.) Joey Porter Guarantees Win Over Raiders...Oops
"Maybe if I yell loud enough my prediction will come true."
But Joey, if you beat the Raiders, it would mean that the 2007 Miami Dolphins won more than a single game, and that simply isn't true. You see folks, last year the Dolphins were a pathetic 1-15 team, only able to defeat the Baltimore Ravens, which, as you've no doubt deduced, means that Porter's guarantee was a sham. He is quoted as saying "Say what you want but we don't feel like an 0-3 team." Good point, Joe, because the Dolphins were actually an 0-13 team before winning their only game.
6.) Big Brown Owner Is Big Brown Failure
"There, there buddy. Of course, you know that I have to shoot you, right?"
Rick Dutrow comes from a lineage of horse trainers. Well, mainly just him and his dad, but that's a longer horse training lineage than your family, probably. The point is, Rick Dutrow owns Big Brown, who you might remember from this year's Triple Crown. Big Brown was so bad ass that he won the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness. Dutrow was so fired up about his horse's bad assedness that he believed Belmont was "a foregone conclusion," insinuating that Big Brown was going to take a huge, hay-filled crap on everyone else. Big Brown pulled up late in the race, finishing dead last.
5.) Jon Kitna Predicts 10+ Win Season For 2007 Lions
"This is for being over-zealous!"
As we've said before, bravado is instilled in every athlete. Some athletes have the ability to silence their bravado when necessary, but others are overtaken by it, and cannot quell their macho desires for long. Such was the case with Jon Kitna. While most players are making predictions about a single game, Kitna decided that sort of talk was for pussies and decided to make a guarantee on an ENTIRE SEASON. He predicted his Detroit Lions would be AT LEAST 10-6. "I'll keep to myself what I actually think, but let's just say it's more than 10 games." Good call Jon, at least you're being modest. The Lions were coming off a 3-13 season in 2006, which to Kitna must have meant they were due for AT LEAST 7 more wins...without actually playing any games. The team finished 2007 as a 7-9 team. Not pathetic, but not 10+ wins by any means.
4.) Winston Montero Promises He Will Defeat Zou Shiming
"Let me win so I can beat that Zou dude. Please?"
The 2008 Olympics were in Beijing, China (did you hear?) and were filled with landmark moments. Most of them involved a certain American swimmer who we won't even name due to his slight over-exposure. Anyway, while all that hullabaloo was going on, there were other sports being played in the Olympics. One of those sports is boxing. Dominican boxer Winston Montero publicly announced that he would defeat heavily favored and world champion light-flyweight boxer Zou Shiming when they meet. Montero should have said "if" we meet because Montero lost to Amnat Ruenroeng, a boxer considerably less skilled than Shiming. Maybe he should have waited until he was actually deserving of even fighting Shiming before announcing he would win.
3.) Anthony Smith Knows The Steelers Will Beat The Patriots
"Excuse me, what is it you said about my team? I can't hear you over the sound of the touchdown I just scored."
When it comes to making retarded sports guarantees, free safety Anthony Smith knows the pain. In December 2007, he claimed his Steelers would defeat the New England Patriots. Remember the 2007 New England Patriots? They went undefeated in the regular season. Most of the Patriots laughed off the guarantee, and Tom Brady made sure to burn Smith on several passes, just to humiliate Smith even more.
2.) Wyoming Coach Joe Glenn To Students: We Will Beat Utah!
"What's that? You're embarassing my team after my retarded guarantee? How dare you."
At a student luncheon at Wyoming, Wyoming head coach Joe Glenn claimed his Wyoming Cowboys would defeat the Utah Utes in Utah. Then they got crapped on by a score of 50-0. Coach Glenn made sure to take the classy route by flipping off Utah coach Kyle Whittingham at the end of the game. What followed is easily one of the most awkward post game interviews of all time.
1.) Matt Hasselbeck Says: "We want the ball, and we're gonna score"
"Or I could just throw a season ending interception."
Matt Hasselbeck was feeling a little cocky one cold night in January 2004 when his Seahawks were playing the Packers in the NFC playoffs. Both teams had put 27 points on the board, sending the game into overtime. The Seahawks won the toss and, well...you know what happens next.