Fantasy football has always been pretty popular, but with the internet, it's become an enormously popular way to enjoy football season.  But let's face it; having a good team is boring.  Why not pick your team based on their arrest record?  The winner is the team that has the most arrests by the end of the season based on their arrest history.  Here's the dream team:

 

QB:  Colt Brennan (Redskins)

Assaults:

January 2004:  Brennan entered the dorm room of a University of Colorado student and exposed himself.  Then he fondled her.  At the time, he was not famous enough for her to not press charges.  Since Colorado was going through a bunch of He Got Game-esque sex allegations involving sex and alcohol being provided to prospects, he was kicked off the team. Brennan was charged with burglary and trespassing.

 

RB:  Cedric Benson (Free Agent)

Drugs:

--Arrested for possession of marijuana while in college.

--May 2008:  Arrested while operating a boat under the influence of alcohol.

--June 2008:  After blowing a red light, Benson was pulled over by police and arrested for DWI after refusing a blood or breath test for alcohol. 

Assaults:

--While never explicitly charged for assault, he was charged for resisting arrest for his 2008 boat charge.  Officers claimed he was being difficult, and posing a threat, culminating in a bottle full of pepper spray being released in Benson's face.  Witnesses on the boat dispute the officers' claims.

 

RB:  Jamal Lewis (Browns)

--1998:  Lewis and a female friend of his were caught shoplifting from Macy's department store.  He was given probation and a $1,000 fine.

Drugs:

--2001:  He was suspended for his second violation of the NFL's substance abuse policy.

--February 2004:  Reports surfaced in 2004 that Lewis had been involved in the purchasing and selling of 5kg of cocaine.  Although he denied the allegations, recorded cell phone conversations showed that cocaine had been discussed, but never directly purchased.  Despite all of that, Lewis was slapped with four months in prison for his connection to the case.

 

WR:  Chris Henry (Bengals)

Drugs:

--December 2005:  Henry was pulled over for speeding.  During a search, police found marijuana hidden in his shoes.  Also, he didn't have a driver's license.

--June 2006:  Pulled over for speeding, and was found to have a BAC of .0912, which is .012 over the legal limit.

--October 2006:  Suspended for violating the NFL's substance abuse policy.

--January 2007:  Charged with providing minors with alcohol.

--April 2007:  Suspended the first half of the 2007 season for another violation of the NFL's substance abuse policy.

Assaults:

--January 2006:  Arrested for carrying a concealed firearm aggravated assault with a firearm. 

--November 2007:  Assaulted a valet at a restaurant.

--March 2008:  Assaulted an 18-year-old man by punching him in the face and throwing a beer bottle through his car window.  He later apologized claiming that he believed his victim was another man who owed him money.  It resulted in his dismissal from the team until he was reinstated later.

 

WR:  Brandon Marshall (Broncos)

Drugs:

--October 2007:  Arrested for DUI

--June 2008: Pulled over for reckless driving.  Failed to show officers a valid driver's license and proof of insurance.

Assaults:

--March 2007:  Marshall was required to complete anger management counseling after a domestic disturbance involving him and his girlfriend. There were allegations of violence, and Marshall used his SUV to prevent his girlfriend's taxi from driving away.  That brought about a false imprisonment charge.

 

TE:  Jerramy Stevens (Buccaneers)

Jerramy has violated many U.S. laws, not to mention countless moral ones.  Here are some of our favorite of his offenses:

Drugs:

--July 1998:  Tested positive for marijuana.

--April 2003:  Arrested DWI.

--March 2007:  Arrested for extreme DUI in Arizona for having a BAC of twice the legal limit.

Assaults:

--In June 1998, he was arrested for armed assault following the beating of a 17 year old.  Like a true hero, Stevens made sure to stomp on the victims face after knocking him to the ground.

--In July 2000, he was arrested for the sexual assault of a 19-year old girl who attended the University of Washington.  The police were called by a witness who saw the two engaged in sexual intercourse on the fraternity house's lawn..yes, the lawn.  The witness believed the girl had been drugged.  Her blood was tested too late for doctors to determine if there was any evidence of it in her body.  Stevens' seed was found in several of the girls orifices.

--In May of 2001, Stevens was involved in a hit and run.  What did he hit?  A nursing home, of course!  He plead guilty to reckless driving and paid heavy fines.

Stevens record includes several complaints from neighbors about loud parties which damaged their property.

 

Defense:  Cowboys

Tank Johnson

--November 2005:  Arrested in Chicago for carrying a concealed weapon in his SUV.

Assaults:

--February 2006:  Arrested for aggravated assault and resisting arrest after he attempted to prevent a police officer from ticketing his limo driver. 

--December 2006:  Illinois police raided Johnson's home to find two assault rifles and four other firearms.  Children were playing in the house and some of the weapons were loaded. 

 

Pacman Jones

Assaults:

--August 2006:  Jones was arrested for public intoxication and disorderly conduct after he spat on a woman who he claimed had stolen his wallet. 

--October 2006:  Charged with misdemeanor assault after spitting in a college girl's face at a party in Tennesee.

--February 2007:  Jones and some friends were frequenting a strip club called Minxx in Las Vegas.  Jones decided that in order to be pimptastic, he needed to "make it rain," which means dropping countless one dollar bills over a stripper because it looks cool.  Since strippers exist on a steady diet of one dollar bills, they greedily began snatching them up.  Unfamiliar with this rule, or perhaps the only person in America who doesn't know how a strip club works, Jones grabbed the stripper by the hair and slammed her head on the stage.  A security guard jumped into action and fought with Jones and his crew.  After the incident, an unknown assailant fired into a crowd outside of the club, striking three people and permanently paralyzing bouncer Tommy Urbanski.  Jones received two felony charges as a result of the strip club incident.

 

K:  Sebastian Janikowski (Raiders)

Drugs:

--Eight days after being acquitted of his 2000 bribery charge, Janikowski was back to his hilarious law breaking lifestyle.  At a party in Tennessee, he and friends were arrested upon suspicion of possessing GHB, the date rape drug. 

--In 2002, he was arrested for DUI and given three years probation.

Assaults:

--Janikowski was arrested in 1998 for fighting at a bar in Florida.  He was charged with failing to leave the premises after he was told to do so by police.  He was arrested again that year for another bar fight and was charged with battery.

--In 2000, he ran into more trouble after allegedly bribing a police officer.  His friend was being arrested, and Janikowski approached the officer and asked how much it would cost to have his friend released.  The charge included a $5,000 fine, 5 years in prison, and since Janikowski was born in Poland, deportation.  He was acquitted of the charges stating that he was only looking to prevent paperwork and trouble by paying his friend's bail. 

--Less than a year after that, Janikowski was arrested for fighting in a restaurant.  The charges were dropped.