Wrestling, while admittedly fake, is still entertaining in terms of ridiculousness. It's funny to watch muscle-bound men ad-lib phrases about how they plan to rip their opponents limbs off one by one and roast them over a fire they've built by burning the corpses of their extended family for the enjoyment of everyone in attendance tonight and the millions watching at home.
13.) The Jackhammer
Bill Goldberg was an insane wrestler, which is why his finisher, The Jackhammer, was also insane. The opponent was given the courtesy of being slammed onto their neck/back/skull. The next thing they knew, a paramedic was holding two-fingers in their face, holding a flashlight, saying, "This doesn't look good."
12.) Figure 4 Leg Lock
A broken knee sounds horrible. And that's sort of what the Figure-4 Leg Lock does. It puts a ton of pressure on your knees, leaving you screaming in agony.
11.) Van Terminator
We all know the Van Daminator is Rob Van Damme's signature finisher, but the Van Terminator has the added force of leaping from the top turnbuckle WITH a power kick to the chair to the face. Try walking away from this one.
10.) Cobra Clutch
Sgt. Slaughter made the Cobra Clutch famous during Wrestling's Golden Age. Once he locked his arms in there, it was over.
9.) Frankensteiner
The amount of athleticism it takes to complete a proper Frankensteiner is tremendous. It's an amazing finisher because the opponent landed hard on their head, and the executor came up pinning them. Instant win.
8.) Tombstone
There are few moves in wrestlings more feared than the Undertaker's Tombstone. When (and it often was) preceded by a Chokeslam, you knew someone's night was over. (Not the Undertaker's.)
7.) The Crippler Cross Face
Chris Benoit was a bad ass wrestler, and his Crippler Crossface was a bad ass submission. His opponents almost always tapped when he applied this move.
6.) Sweet Chin Music
The Sweet Chin Music is simple: it's a kick right in your fucking face. More martial arts than wrestling, the SCM is not out here to make friends. Look at that dude get completely wasted on a big pitcher of Broken Jaw Lager.
5.) Sharpshooter
That looks painful. When Bret Hart gets the Sharpshooter on his opponent, you know there's going to be trouble.
4.) The Mandible Claw
How painful is the Mandible Claw? It seems simple enough: you get some fingers jammed in your mouth, and those get pushed deep into the spot under your tongue. Wait, that sounds horrifying. And it was. When Mankind laid those fingers in his opponents mouth, you knew the match was over.
3.) Pedigree
Triple H's Pedigree is right up there with the best finishers of all time. There's something that happens to a man when their face gets thrust between another man's legs, and then that man jumps in the air and hooks his arms so the other man can't protect himself. That something is called a concussion.
2.) Stunner
Stone Cold Steve Austin's famous "Stunner" was one of the most popular finishers in wrestling during the "Attitude Era" of the late 90s. While similar to Diamond Dallas Page's "Diamondcutter" and Matt Hardy's "Twist of Fate," the Stunner was delivered most famously by Stone Cold and drew far more excitement from the crowd upon each execution.
1.) The Canadian Destroyer
WHAT?! This move is insane! With all the flying through the air and whatnot, this finisher is clearly going to put a person in the hospital whether wrestling is real or fake.