If you are:
Sitting in the quad, reading a book, you’re saying:
Girls: I’m just reading a book in the quad, because it’s sunny and nice out. It’s a great way to get homework done.
Guys: If girls see me reading in the quad, they’ll think I’m intellectual and unique. Then maybe one will let me have sex with them.
If you are tanning, you’re saying:
Girls:
I need to get my tan from spring break in Cancun back!
Guys:
(a.) Reading in the quad didn’t work. Maybe getting a tan will.
or
(b) I’m Italian, which means I do feminine things and get away with it.
Eating pizza (more than 2 slices):
Guys:
Pizza is so delicious, I'll eat it anywhere.
Girls:
I gained so much weight already, I don't care who sees me anymore. I'm dead inside.
Tossing a frisbee:
Guys:
(a): I listen to Phish and the Grateful Dead.
or
(b): I don't have a football.
Girls:
(all): (internal monologue) I have no idea how the hell to do this.
Cuddling with significant other on a blanket:
Guys and girls: I have no idea how annoying I am.
Playing Kan-Jam (shirtless):
Guys: This is a great excuse to take my shirt off.
Girls: I have low self esteem.
Playing Kan-Jam (shirt-on):
Guys: I legitimately enjoy this game.
Girls: I'm not drunk enough to take off my shirt yet.
Playing hackey sack:
Girls: I love marijuana and Dance-Dance Revolution.
Guys: I love marijuana and Dance-Dance Revolution.
Sitting alone, with black leather trench coat on:
Girls/Guys: I probably have a gun.