It's officially February now, which means there is mounting pressure on all couples out there to pick out the dreaded Valentine's Day gift. Every boyfriend or girlfriend knows that you may not be able to find the perfect gift, but you had better show up to dinner with at least a halfway decent one. To help you on this quest, I've compiled a list of things to steer away from. These are gifts that nobody wants to open on Valentine's Day. No, seriously.

 

10. A Personalized Valentine Postcard Glass Block. Okay, first of all I think you're going to want to avoid any gift with "glass block" in the name. Nothing says "I love you" like a paperweight. While this product is marketed as "perfect for valentines who cannot be together this year," I still say no. If I couldn't be with my valentine, they'd better have something more awesome to send me than a glass postcard. How about you buy a plane ticket and go see him or her, cheapskate? Sheesh.   

 

9. A Valentine's Day Personalized Throw. This little beauty is a $70 blanket that is essentially a huge picture of the happy couple featuring both their names. Ick. A blanket could be a nice gift if pair

with maybe a movie basket or something like that, but never, NEVER buy your significant other a blanket with your faces on it. It doesn't say "Happy Valentine's Day," it says "clingy with bad taste." It's creepy. Stop lying to yourself.

 

 

8. Valentine's Fortune Cookies. What?! Isn't that why they make conversation hearts? I'll tell you one thing, if you come home with these on Valentine's Day, you're in for an unfortunate evening.

 

 

7. A Star (think: celestial body of light). I have to admit I was kind of a sucker for this in A Walk to Remember, but in real life this is a bad idea. Don't fall victim to Rocky Mozell and his pack of lies! You'll never be able to find the stupid thing, and it will cost you $40. If that's how it's going to go, you may as well save the money and make one of those certificates yourself. Either that or present them with a bag of air. Same difference. Exception: This gift would be acceptable if you happened to date or be married to an astronomer, but since I have the feeling most of us can't say that, I would stick with no.

 

6. A Love Gun. This is a cutesy novelty gift...a gun that shoots little cupids out of it! It might be kind of funny for a few minutes, but once you do the first lap around your apartment to retrieve all the cupids, you'll be about done with it.  

 

  5. 'I Love You' Bears in Chair. Um, well this is pretty self-explanatory, and I hope it's just as obvious why this is a big fat no. Everyone manages to acquire their fair share of knick-knacks, you don't need your romantic interest adding to the clutter. Come on, you love this person, right? You can do better than that. 

 

 

  4. Valentine's Day Toilet Paper. Wow. You really need some lessons in romance if you're going to equate Valentine's Day with bodily waste. I guess I can see this as a gag gift, but generally I would pass. Besides, how weird are you going to look to guests who need to use your bathroom? Wrong answer.  

 

3. Any Type of Underwear With Names On Them. These are distasteful no matter how you look at it. Don't think you're being funny--you're not. If I was ever given a pair of underwear that said "Matt's Girl" Matt would have a long night of explaining ahead of him, which is probably not what he had in mind when purchasing the gift. Just don't do it, it's so tacky. And God forbid the trouble you'd get yourself in if you got the wrong name. Why open that can of worms? NO.

 

 

2. A True Love Personalized Photo Magazine Cover. There's a reason why average people don't grace the covers of magazines. This is so weird. Can you do me a favor and try to imagine your girlfriend/boyfriend's face when you give this to them. If it's a gracious smile, you're not picturing it right. Try shock/horror/embarassment/confusion...any of those are more accurate. Say you are going to buy this and you manage to find a decent picture. What on God's green earth are you going to make the headline? Maybe try, "This was the last picture taken of them as a couple" because that's what the recipient will be thinking. You're actually supposed to frame this and put in on your wall. It would be handy if you hated to entertain, because you wouldn't have to worry about that anymore. "I'm sorry, did we get the Creeperson's address instead of Blake and Kimmy's?" Cue end of social life. 

 

  1. Matching I Love (insert boyfriend's name) and I Love (insert girlfriend's name) T-shirts. I will say this--I would avoid this gift if people pointing and laughing at you is something that bothers you. If not, go for it! Remember the "I'm with stupid" shirts? Now do you remember knowing anyone that had one? Exactly. Because people who had those shirts did not have large social circles. I'm pretty sure it's a direct correlation of one. Same concept applies here. If you like being part of a couple, don't buy these shirts. It's that simple.