TaB – This Coca-Cola product has been on the consumers hit list for years. It originally contained cyclamate that was banned by the FDA. Then, it was discovered that it could be used as a dietary aide – great! Now we have a cheap way to induce diarrhea!
Pepsi Kona – Pepsi once decided that because consumers loved their coffee, maybe they could replace the morning cup with their soda instead. What they produced was a hyper-caffeinated coffee flavored soft drink that saw more action from the dust balls that were collecting on the shelf next to them.
Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper – DP already proclaims that it contains 23 flavors. why not add 3 more? When a child uses all the colors in his crayon box to color a blob on his paper, the end result is brown muck. Like sipping muck from a can.
Crystal Pepsi – SNL once performed a skit in which the actors declare that Crystal Pepsi was “Crystal Gravy”. A soda that tastes like creamy meat is always a winner! See the Pepsi’s discontinued list…
Jones Soda Holiday Pack – A brief over view of the flavors:
Brussels Sprout with Prosciutto – 1% of the population enjoys Brussels sprouts in their natural form
Cranberry Sauce – I could see how this could work. I have often thought about shoving the artificial jelly into a bottle
Wild Herb Stuffing – the basil sinks right to the bottom of the can
Broccoli Casserole – The Magic Bullet makes some sweet soup out of Broccoli Casserole as well
Smoked Salmon Paté – Are crackers included?
Turkey & Gravy – See Crystal Pepsi
Corn on the Cob – Does the soda also leave the same way it went in?
Pecan Pie – I would give this a shot, but do you still have to wait until after dinner?
Pumpkin Pie – If it works for beer…
Diet Pepsi Jazz - “The new sound of cola”. I find myself wondering if the sound that Pepsi refers to, is the sound of my face in the toilet.
Pepsi Ice Cucumber – This product was only released in Japan (cause the Japanese have unusual palettes?) Apparently the Pepsi tasted like mint syrup with a sudden after taste of artificial cucumber.
Sprite ReMix Aruba Jam - “slightly funky after taste” but a slight hint of apple makes it all worth it.
Diet Coke with Splenda – This makes the list because it was taken off of the market so that Coke dollars could be spent on their precious aspartame-poisoned product Coke Zero. Apparently unhealthy side effects is more marketable – anyone from tobacco care to chime in?
Pepsi Blue - Considered to be the equivalent of New Coke, there is an entire blog dedicated to the soda. A Pepsi Blue customer stated, “Every single neuron in your brain insists on filing it in the same category as Plax and Listerine.”
dnL = 7UP turned upside down – The 7UP Creative Director should be ashamed of his/herself. “dnL is from the makers of 7UP, but it is everything 7UP isn’t. Take 7UP and flip it upside down and inside out, you get a green beverage in a clear bottle with a bold full flavor and a kick of caffeine.” Does that mean that 7UP is timid and useless as a soda? This is the worst marketing campaign ever… even if the tweeners did find that angry leprechaun amusing…